Wednesday, November 26, 2008

God Damn You Colonel Sanders!

So I had KFC for dinner last night and I paid dearly for it.

It's funny to think about now, but I was actually lying in bed, in pain, thinking: "God damn you Colonel Sanders! I hope you're in HELL right now!" with a serious hate for the man who created this chicken that got me sick. And yes, I got sick from eating the Colonel's original recipe for POISON!

So after a few failed attempts at sleeping the pain off (I kept waking up because it felt like there was a chicken made of grenade shrapnel in my stomach) I threw up twice.

I'll never know what it was like for you Kellie when you threw up all those times and still felt like crap. I like to think that this was pretty close... but I don't even know.
And you don't even know. (lohl)

I also felt really bad because I had to miss work, and I didn't want to disappoint Liz. I'll make it up to her somehow.

As I told Preston later that morning, I couldn't go to sleep because of the pain. At 5 AM I was still awake and feeling like I was going to die (dramatic yes, but I was delirious. I kept telling myself how funny it would be to die from eating fried chicken. Can you imagine? How did Robert die? ... He ate some chicken? =/ aww that's a shame. He never finished that poo story he was writing). So where was I? ... that bit in the parenthesis ran a little long.

So at 5 AM I was still not asleep and my brother was leaving the house to go to Volleyball practice (Which he does almost every day at 5 AM). Now I don't remember when I finally fell asleep, but I did... for less than 3 hours. I woke up... it was 8 AM and the first thing I did was call Borders. I wanted Liz to pick up, but Preston answered and I told him what was up, and I think I told him that I got poisoned by Colonel Sanders. I was still very delirious. It's funny because I remember his concern and he asked me which KFC I went to.

And now it's 1:08AM on the 26th of November. I still feel sharp pains in my lower abdomen. I think it's my appendix. My parents wanted me to go to a doctor, but I kinda don't want to see a doctor ever again.

I totally called it Bonnie! I told you I was going to have my worst day that Monday. It started with me showing up an HOUR late to work with an embarrassing excuse (Didn't check my schedule until it was too late to realize that I was supposed to be in at 8...), I also realized on my drive to work that I missed my credit card payment deadline by 2 days! Work wasn't too bad, but I did miss the first hour and 20 minutes... sigh. I told myself and Liz NEVER AGAIN! But what happened that night? I got sick... Before getting sick, I had a terrible time in art class. I apparently bought the wrong colored pencils and my lobster drawing was incomplete. I didn't eat anything all day so after class, I stopped by the KFC near my house and bleh....

In conclusion, my worst day... wasn't THAT bad. I hate missing work, I hate disappointing people, I hate feeling sick, but I also feel ashamed when I complain about how bad things are going. In the end, we're all so lucky to live the lives we live. Wouldn't you agree?

I'm finally able to walk without looking like an old man (woot woot). I'll be able to work on Black Friday. Thanksgiving is coming up, and I'll be able to eat some delicious food that won't get me sick. God Damn you Colonel Sanders! And... Good Night blogspot! =]

I think I'll end with this picture I drew when I was feeling a little better.


Note: I didn't actually have diarrhea, but diarrhea is a much funnier punchline, yeah?

5 comments:

God said...

eeeeeewwwww! you win on the bad day contest. throwing up is like the worst thing that could happen to me.

I don't go to KFC anymore cause the last time my sister went she saw rat traps everywhere.

Love the picture. Especially since a pepto commercial was on at the same time.

Fatty Pants said...

i love the little cartoon robert. so scared and concerned and with awesome hair...
also, my word verification is "icksie". i found that incredibly appropriate.

KTP said...

The contents of this post are so pitiful and laughable in that apathetic-but-mostly-funny sort of way.

And that drawing is the Sauce!!! Well done, sir. Sim Sim Salabim!

KTP said...

also: awesome shirt

Anonymous said...

claiming i check your blog everyday.
thanks a lot!
p.s. this leaving-three-comments-that-are-part-of-the-same-comment thing has proved to be quite difficult
i keep getting the word verifications wrong!